Moon Shadows
by Kitsune Triforce
Summary: During to Post DOTM. He tried to hide it, he really did. And for the most part, he was successful. But there are times when everything is too much, and the walls Bumblebee builds to hide all of the pain, fear, and sadness not only break, but shatter.
1. Nothing

**A/N:** _I saw DOTM Wednesday, and I loved it. It's been quite some time since I've seen a movie that made me actually want to cry when characters I loved died or were about to be killed. I couldn't get this out of my head since, so I finally put it down on paper._

_Enjoy, we're in for a ride._

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Transformers, or any of the song/movie quotes used in this story. However, the idea for this story does, indeed, belong to me.**

**HERE'S YOUR TRADITIONAL, FRIENDLY NEIGHBOORHOOD REMINDER THIS IS NOT A SLASH FIC.**

**NOTE: DO NOT READ THIS FIC UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN DARK OF THE MOON****! MAJOR SPOILERS ABOUND!**

**Moon Shadows 1/7**

**Title: Nothing**

**Rating: T (Just to be safe)**

**Words: 413**

**Characters: **Sam, Lennox, Sentinel, Bumblebee, Ironhide, Mirage, Sideswipe

**Pairings: None**

**Takes Place: **During Dark of the Moon

**Spoiler Warnings: **Reading the novels/comics/seeing the movies helps.

**Other Warnings: **ANGST, and Character Death.

**Teaser: **There was nothing he could do. Nothing at all, and he hated himself for it.

* * *

><p>THE WORLD IS CRUMBLING AROUND BUMBLEBEE.<p>

They were safe. They had made it back to the NEST base; they had done their job. For a brief moment, everything had been fine.

And then…

"_You have to understand. We were never going to win the war."_

He didn't understand. How could he?

"_For the sake of peace, a deal with Megatron had to be made."_

He can do nothing. Nothing as Sentinel, the one they trusted, the one they had protected, the one they had taken here, the one who was supposed to _help_ them, turns around a shoots Ironhide at point-blank range with his Cosmic Rust blaster.

Nothing as Sentinel fires again.

"_What have you done?"_

"_I hereby discharge you from duty."_

Nothing as yet another devastating blast tears through the fallen Ironhide, completely destroying any hope they had of treating his injuries.

And Slag it all, he can do _nothing_ as Sentinel turns to him, ready to do the same as was done to Ironhide.

He can only watch helplessly as the closest thing he had to a father lies rusting into nothing. Ironhide is still alive, but barely, and Bumblebee is about to join him.

And then, that nothing turns to something as a few shouted words reach him through his daze.

"_No, NO! BUMBLEBEE, LOOK OUT!"_

_Sam._

Bumblebee dodges the blast that is meant for him, and fires back. It is useless, he knows, even before he sees Sentinel dodge. Yet he fires again, and again, until a very weak communication rings through his processor.

_Run, kid…get away from here…_

_Ironhide?_

_Go!_

Bumblebee fires once more, again uselessly, then heeds Ironhide's last order as he folds down into vehicular mode, zooming away from the base to join the already fleeing Sideswipe and Mirage. He feels like a coward for running. For leaving Ironhide, for leaving Sam. He hates himself for it.

But there is nothing he can do.

And as he drives away, a broken mechanical sob escapes his vocal capacitor.

He will not see Ironhide again, he knows. His adoptive father is gone. Gone, forever.

He can only hope that he will see Sam again, soon, and that when he does, the boy will be unharmed, alive. _Safe._

He lost his father. He would not be able to stand losing his brother.

Bumblebee drives, but he will return for Sam.

And when he returns, he will not let the treacherous _nothing_ prevent him from protecting his family.

Never again.


	2. Quick

**A/N:** _This part of the movie really got to me. Even though I had already finished the novel before I saw the movie and knew that the Autobots weren't really leaving, when I saw them drive up to the Xantium in vehicle form with the slow, sad version of "Arrival to Earth" playing, I got all choked up._

_Now, when I saw the movie, Optimus telling Bumblebee to make his goodbye to Sam quick seemed really cold to me. Then, I thought about it. Optimus was really stressed and upset at the time-his mentor has betrayed them, Ironhide is dead, the Autobots are being kicked off of the only home they have left, and what's more, Optimus knows he can't tell Sam what their plan really is because Sam is able to hint to him that unfriendly ears are listening in (Yes, Optimus knew about the Decepticon Bug, the novel proves this and I am at a loss as to why they don't make that clear in the movie). In Optimus's mind, keeping the truth from Sam is just as bad as what Sentinel did, and he can't stand the knowledge of that, even if it is for the good of everyone that he doesn't tell the truth. He doesn't mean to sound so cold when he tells Bumblebee that; he just can't help it._

_And Bumblebee was probably also feeling like he was betraying Sam by not telling him what was really going on._

_Now, the next chapter._

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Transformers, or any of the song/movie quotes used in this story. However, the idea for this story does, indeed, belong to me.**

**HERE'S YOUR TRADITIONAL, FRIENDLY NEIGHBOORHOOD REMINDER THIS IS NOT A SLASH FIC.**

**NOTE: DO NOT READ THIS FIC UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN DARK OF THE MOON****! MAJOR SPOILERS ABOUND!**

**Moon Shadows 2/7**

**Title: Quick**

**Rating: T (Just to be safe)**

**Words: 516**

**Characters: **Sam, Bumblebee, Optimus

**Pairings: None**

**Takes Place: **During Dark of the Moon

**Spoiler Warnings: **Major Spoilers for Dark of the Moon

**Other Warnings: **ANGST

**Teaser:**_ What they were doing was just as much of a betrayal as what had been done to them._

* * *

><p>BUMBLEBEE WATCHES AS OPTIMUS HEADS TOWARDS HIM, leaving Sam behind. He can see that Sam is very close to breaking down and crying.<p>

He feels exactly the same as his human friend.

The young Autobot is despondently holding onto part of the launch pad the _Xantium_ is connected to, optics on his leader as he walks up to him. Optimus glances at him for only a fleeting moment, but Bumblebee can see the sadness, disappointment, and pain in the Prime's optics clearly. He can see them because he is feeling the same emotions himself.

Optimus speaks to him then, his words short, clipped, emotionless.

"Make it quick."

Bumblebee shutters his optics and lowers his head, but before he begins the walk to his friend, he gets a transmission in his internal comm from Optimus.

_Be careful of what you say, Bumblebee. What Sam told me lets me know one thing. We are being watched, and not by humans._

Bumblebee looks back to Optimus in concern, but the Prime is already entering the ship. He will not get answers there. He refocuses his attention on Sam, and walks towards his friend.

Towards his brother.

Bumblebee kneels down so that he can be as close to eye level with Sam as he possibly can. He searches the radio waves for clips to say goodbye, but nothing he strings together will ever be good enough for this. He knows he cannot say what he wants to say. He knows he cannot tell Sam the truth. He knows that what he is doing, what he and the Autobots are doing, what they are not telling their closest allies, is just as much of a betrayal to their human friends as what Sentinel is doing to them is.

And that knowledge hurts him even more than saying a goodbye ever would.

More than anything at that moment, he wants to pick Sam up, hug him the best as he can, and use whatever clips he can find, or even his own broken, stuttering voice to let Sam know the truth-they are not really leaving, they will be back, and that they will help the humans defeat the Decepticons once and for all.

But he cannot. Their plan relies on this.

Bumblebee does not pick Sam up. He does not hug him. He does not let him know the truth.

He simply stands and walks away.

As he boards the_ Xantium_ with the other Autobots, he looks back to Sam.

The human is kneeling, clutching the guardrail, sobbing.

Bumblebee feels, hears, his spark break at the sight. But he does not go back to his friend. He cannot. Optimus said to be quick, and he was.

He turns away from his friend, and tries as hard as he can to ignore to stinging feeling that floods through him, whispering a poison to him that only he can hear.

_I betrayed Sam. I did not tell him the truth. I hurt him._

And even though he knows that they will return, as the ship readies for takeoff, Bumblebee wishes that he could cry.


	3. Return

**A/N:** _Slightly longer chapter for this one. We never got to see the Autobots during the journey from the Xantium's escape pod to Chicago, so I thought I'd show a little of it here._

_I added a little bit to Sam and Bee reuniting in Chicago. They should've done more besides just looking at each other, even though it was obvious Bee was smiling. Sam thought Bee was DEAD, he should have hugged him, at least!_

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Transformers, or any of the song/movie quotes used in this story. However, the idea for this story does, indeed, belong to me.**

**HERE'S YOUR TRADITIONAL, FRIENDLY NEIGHBOORHOOD REMINDER THIS IS NOT A SLASH FIC.**

**NOTE: DO NOT READ THIS FIC UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN DARK OF THE MOON****! MAJOR SPOILERS ABOUND!**

**Moon Shadows 3/7**

**Title: Return**

**Rating: T (Just to be safe)**

**Words: 825**

**Characters: **The Wreckers, Bumblebee, Ratchet, Optimus, Sam, Epps

**Pairings: None**

**Takes Place: **During Dark of the Moon

**Spoiler Warnings: **Major Spoilers for Dark of the Moon

**Other Warnings: **ANGST

**Teaser:**_ The journey is long and silent, and gives Bumblebee plenty of time to think._

* * *

><p>BEING IN THE ESCAPE POD OF THE XANTIUM IS a terrifying experience for Bumblebee. It is like being in a freefall, and there is no way to see what the pod is falling towards. The Wreckers insist that it is safe; they are falling towards the ocean. They will land in it as planned, and from there, they will all make the journey to Chicago to help eradicate the Decepticon threat.<p>

Their confidence does not make Bumblebee feel any better. He hates not being able to see where he is. He hates being unable to know what is going on around him.

It reminds him too much of being captured.

In the absence of Ironhide, Ratchet has more or less taken charge of Bumblebee. He puts a hand on the younger Autobot's shoulder, trying to dispel some of the nervousness Bumblebee is feeling. Bumblebee appreciates it, but he still tenses as he waits for the impact that will soon come.

When it comes, it is with a terrible shuddering jolt, and then the sense of falling resumes, but it is much slower. They are sinking in the ocean.

Optimus stands and the other Autobots follow suit. The pod's doors open.

Ocean water pours in, but it cannot harm them. One by one, they exit the ship into the ocean.

The first part of the plan is complete.

* * *

><p>The drive to Chicago is long and quiet.<p>

There is too big of a risk that the Decepticons will be able to pick up their comm frequencies, so Optimus orders everyone to maintain silence for the duration of the trip. They are also not traveling together as that would arouse suspicion. They are all taking separate roads, alternate routes, but are traveling at a speed that will allow them all to arrive in the city at relatively the same time.

The silence the lack of communication and traveling alone brings gives Bumblebee time to think.

He has no doubt in his mind that Sam is in Chicago. He knows that Sam, even believing that the Autobots are gone, will not stand by and let the Decepticons win. That makes him proud to call the human his friend; proud to call him his brother.

But…

Will Sam be happy to see them after what happened? When he learns that they never left, that they had hidden the truth from him, would he want anything to do with them after that? Would he be angry at Bumblebee, just like he had been angry a scant few days ago because it had been so long since the Autobot had seen him?

There is a huge difference between not visiting and not telling the truth when the resulting lie hurts your friend, Bumblebee knows. It was for the greater good, yes, but it still hurt Sam, and Bumblebee can never forgive himself for that.

_I'm sorry, Sam._

Day turns to night and then back to day again, and eventually the skyline of Chicago comes into view.

Bumblebee screeches to a halt, dread filling him at the sight that meets his optics.

He has been to Chicago before. Once, on a trip with Sam.

It looks nothing like what he remembers.

Some buildings are still standing, yes. But many are toppled, or are in the process of collapsing. Smoke fills the air. The city is burning.

Decepticon warships patrol the city's border. He sees a few human fighter jets make a brave attempt to rush the patrol, but they are shot down instantly. They never even get close.

His spark clenches in pain and fear. If Sam is there, is he even still alive?

Bumblebee notices that he is picking up Autobot signals. The others are here. He backs away from his position, still looking at the ruined city with sick dread.

_Sam, if you are in there, hold on, just a little longer. I'm coming._

* * *

><p>It is the greatest feeling in the world when Bumblebee sees Sam standing there, alive, with Optimus, Epps, and some other humans that he does not know, while the Wreckers make short work of the Decepticon that had tried to kill the brave humans as they tried to enter the city.<p>

He does not hesitate. He drives up as fast as he can, Transforming into robot mode before he even reaches Sam, kneeling down to look at his friend at eye level, forming his faceplates into a smile as best as he can.

Sam looks up at him, and to Bumblebee's relief, it is not anger that he sees in the human's eyes. It is happiness, love, and relief, and as Sam rushes forward and hugs him as well as a human can hug a giant robot, Bumblebee's spark no longer feels broken.

And amid the ruins of a fallen city, despite the grueling battle that surely awaits them, he begins to hope, that maybe, just maybe, they will all come out of this okay.


	4. Trophy

**A/N:** _The difficulty with writing a fanfic based on a movie that's still only in theaters is that you can't turn to the film whenever you need to reference something. I've only seen DOTM once, and I already know I got some dialogue wrong (Optimus told Bee to "Make it short" not "make it quick") but I'm not gonna go back and change it. Unless…it really bothers anyone. But it doesn't bother me, so I'm not touching it for now._

_This is it. The scene that made me go, "Oh, no. No, they'd better not!"_

_The mission Wheeljack is talking about is one of the very first scenes in the very first episode of G1. Since DOTM is chock-full of G1 references anyway, I decided to add one more._

_Soundwave would be mad at Bumblebee for killing his pets. _

_Here comes chapter four._

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Transformers, or any of the song/movie quotes used in this story. However, the idea for this story does, indeed, belong to me.**

**HERE'S YOUR TRADITIONAL, FRIENDLY NEIGHBOORHOOD REMINDER THIS IS NOT A SLASH FIC.**

**NOTE: DO NOT READ THIS FIC UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN DARK OF THE MOON****! MAJOR SPOILERS ABOUND!**

**Moon Shadows 4/7**

**Title: Trophy**

**Rating: T (Just to be safe)**

**Words: 1,053**

**Characters: **Bumblebee, Ratchet, Sideswipe, Mirage, Wheeljack, Sam, Carly, Soundwave, Barricade

**Pairings: None**

**Takes Place: **During Dark of the Moon

**Spoiler Warnings: **Major Spoilers for Dark of the Moon

**Other Warnings: **ANGST, and Character Death

**Teaser:**_ They were not told what their captors were going to do to them, but they knew._

* * *

><p>IT IS AS IF TYGER PAX IS HAPPENING ALL OVER AGAIN.<p>

However, this is worse. Much worse. They are not being held for information. They are simply going to be executed. They have not been told that is what will happen to them, but they have a pretty god idea that it is what awaits them anyway.

Bumblebee is terrified. He may be the youngest of the Autobots, but he is a trained soldier, he knows that he should be brave, but as he watches Ratchet struggle uselessly before being forced to the ground, watches as Wheeljack, Mirage, and Sideswipe are all forced to kneel at cannon point, as he himself is dragged roughly over to his friends and forced to put his hands on his head as he is shoved down beside Wheeljack, he cannot help it. He starts to shake, and a quiet, broken whimper of fear escapes his vocal capacitor before he can stop himself.

Wheeljack is closest to him and the scientist tries to help ease Bumblebee's fear. "It'll be okay, Bumblebee. Remember when we outran those Decepticons back on Cybertron after gathering the fuel rods? We got out of that just fine, didn't we? It'll be the same here. You'll see."

Before Bumblebee can answer, the Decepticon restraining Wheeljack leans in and snarls, "Stop talking." Then, the Decepticon turns to face Bumblebee, and with a wicked smirk, taunts him. "Hello, Bumblebee. Remember me?"

Bumblebee remembers all too well.

_Barricade._

"It's too bad I'm not going to be the one who finishes you," Barricade hisses so that only Bumblebee can hear him. "Soundwave requested you personally. Something about killing his pets. But it doesn't matter, because there are still four other Autobot prisoners that I can have fun with."

Soundwave walks up then, chuckling sadistically at something the human Dylan had told him before storming off.

"No prisoners," He corrects Barricade. "Only…_trophies_."

Wheeljack's bravery falters at this, and he looks at Bumblebee. The younger Autobot now sees a glimmer of the same fear he feels in the inventor's optics.

"Bumblebee…I think that they are going to kill us…"

Bumblebee looks back at him, terrified, but before he or the inventor do anything else, Barricade shoves Wheeljack forward. "You-your time has come."

Bumblebee doesn't want to watch. He doesn't want to hear. But he cannot shut it out. The sounds of Wheeljack begging for his life, the sounds of Barricade laughing as shoots him with his cannon-once, twice-and the sight of Wheeljack jerking with each hit before collapsing as his head rolls off are seared into his processor.

It is too much.

Bumblebee chokes out a cry of despair, clasping his head with his hands before shuttering his optics in overwhelming pain.

He just wants it all to stop.

Suddenly, Sound wave is grabbing him by the neck, claw like fingers digging in cruelly as the much larger Decepticon forces Bumblebee to his feet with a sadistic growl. "You're mine now."

Bumblebee wants to scream. He wants to cry out at the pain Soundwave is inflicting by digging his claws into his neck. But as Soundwave shoves him close to Wheeljack's body, all thoughts of doing so fade, and he collapses, trying to see, hoping against hope that Wheeljack might still be alive, he holds onto his fallen friend's shoulders as he desperately tries to find any sign of life. But there isn't one.

Soundwave is there again. He grabs the young Autobot by the arm this time, and Bumblebee finds himself shoved forward again, this time with snapped orders.

"Keep moving! Turn around!"

Bumblebee wants to object. He wants to resist, even though he knows it will do no good. He wants to face Soundwave as he dies instead of facing away like a coward, but a soft hissing sound that only reaches his audio receptors distracts him, and he turns despite his resolve not to.

The hissing sound is originating from a charred car, flipped upside-down sometime during the siege of the city. Its windows are gone. And there, right there, is the object that made the noise. A boomstick, one of Wheeljack's inventions, is in the car. It has failed to ignite. But it is only who is holding the boomstick, the one who had tried to use it to save him, that Bumblebee sees, and the sight makes him want to collapse.

_Sam._

Utter despair fills him. He does not want Sam to see this. He does not want Sam to see him die. He knows that Sam is desperate to save him, he can see it in the human's eyes, and knows that, if not for Cary holding him tightly by the arm to prevent him from leaping out of the car, he would race forward towards Soundwave, and he would be killed as well.

Bumblebee does not want that. He tries to put that as a silent message in his optics, never once breaking contact with Sam's eyes. _Don't. Stay there. I don't want you to die too. You have to live._

And then Sam starts to cry as he realizes there is nothing he can do, and it is all Bumblebee can do to not break down himself.

_Don't cry, Sam. _

He does not want Sam to see him die, but he knows that Sam will not look away. So he will not look away either.

A broken, distorted radio clip comes out of him, his goodbye to Sam that should not be happening.

"_We had a good run."_

Bumblebee feels Soundwave press the cannon against his helm, and he knows that it is over.

_I'm sorry, Sam._

Suddenly, the cannon is pulled away from his head as a load crash is heard, followed by more and more. Bumblebee turns to see what is going on, and surprise fills him as he sees Decepticon fighters falling from the sky as the Battleship detaches them for no reason at all.

Determination fires through Bumblebee.

Wheeljack was right. There was a way out of this.

Bumblebee flings himself at Soundwave, and as the Decepticon fighters continue to plummet down, he is aware that Ratchet, Mirage, and Sideswipe are now free and fighting their former captors as well.

He aims his cannon at Soundwave.

His earlier sentiment was right. It _is_ over.

But not for him.


	5. Charge

**A/N:** _Why is it that in the movie, Cybertron being pulled closer to Earth has no adverse effects on the planet? Nothing at all? Feh. I'm fixing that._

_We're in the home stretch now. Two chapters left after this one. This is the last chapter detailing events completely from the movie. Next chapter opens with a scene from the movie but then goes into post movie events._

_Those of you wondering what happened to this being a Bumblebee and Ironhide story? It still is. It's always been. Bumblebee is an emotional wreck throughout this story BECAUSE of Ironhide's death. Ironhide's death was the trigger and everything else-not telling Sam the truth, seeing the wrecked city and not knowing if Sam is alive, Wheeljack's death, and almost being killed in front of Sam- has just added on to that. Ironhide will get more mourning soon in this story, trust me. But first, we have to do something about that stupid space bridge._

_Not much of an ANGSTY chapter, this one, mainly because Bee's had enough and isn't going to put up with Decepticon CRAP any more. But the next chapter is gonna be OVERFLOWING with ANGST, so I guess a short break is okay._

_Sorry for the shortness of this chapter; the next two will be longer, I promise!_

_Here's chapter five._

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Transformers, or any of the song/movie quotes used in this story. However, the idea for this story does, indeed, belong to me.**

**HERE'S YOUR TRADITIONAL, FRIENDLY NEIGHBOORHOOD REMINDER THIS IS NOT A SLASH FIC.**

**NOTE: DO NOT READ THIS FIC UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN DARK OF THE MOON****! MAJOR SPOILERS ABOUND!**

**Moon Shadows 5/7**

**Title: Charge**

**Rating: T (Just to be safe)**

**Words: 987**

**Characters: **Bumblebee, Ratchet, Sam, Dylan, Megatron, Sentinel, Optimus

**Pairings: Sam/Cary (just briefly, thank goodness)**

**Takes Place: **During Dark of the Moon

**Spoiler Warnings: **Major Spoilers for Dark of the Moon

**Other Warnings: Character Death**

**Teaser:**_ He doesn't remember with Earth took Cybertron's place as "home", but he knows he will do anything to protect it, and his family._

* * *

><p>BUMBLEBEE DOESN'T EXACTLY REMEMBER WHEN EARTH TOOK Cybertron's place as "home".<p>

Maybe it was when he first made planetfall. Maybe it was when he had a human sit inside his alt mode for the first time and that human brushed the dirt from the Autobot symbol on his steering wheel. Maybe it was when he'd asked to stay with Sam after Mission City.

Whatever the reason, when he looks up and sees the familiar surface of Cybertron getting closer and closer to the city, it does not run through his mind that his home is coming closer to Earth.

Instead, Cybertron is coming closer to his home.

Earth will not be able to stand having a planet of Cybertron's size in orbit, Bumblebee knows. The gravitational pull of Cybertron will tear Earth apart. Already the city is rocking with tremors caused by the planet's closeness, and it will only get worse. The entire planet has not come through the space bridge yet, thanks to the control pillar being knocked to the ground, but someone has managed to reactivate it, and it is only a matter of time.

He does not want to think of what will happen to Earth if this continues. He does not want to think of what will happen to all those on it if the planet falls apart. What will happen to the Autobots, to the humans. To Sam.

He tries not to think of it because if they fail and the worst happens, if anyone else he cares about dies, he knows he will not be able to go on.

Bumblebee does not know where Mirage, Sideswipe, Carly, or Sam went after Soundwave and the others were dealt with. He wants to go looking for Sam, but knows that he cannot. Destroying the control pillar is the only way he can ensure the safety of his human friend. He cannot abandon the search for it now, so all he can do is hope that Sam-that all of the friends he has been separated from- are safe.

He has managed to stay with Ratchet and a decent number of human soldiers. They are searching, looking around as they run down the ruined streets.

They need to find that control pillar before it is too late.

Optimus is fighting Sentinel. There is nothing they can do to help there-the fight is between the Primes alone, and unless Optimus requests help they will not interfere. Finding the pillar is the only way they can help in the battle now.

"We have to stop it," Ratchet murmurs to Bumblebee. "And the only way to do that is to destroy the pillar. We must find it."

Bumblebee knows this, but as he looks up and sees Cybertron coming even closer, as he feels the ground beneath him shudder violently, he wonders if they will be able to find and destroy the pillar in time.

And then, suddenly, there it is, right in front of them. But they are not the first ones to have reached it.

Sam and Dylan are both standing next to it. Sam, battered and bruised, is wielding a metal pipe with a block of concrete attached to one end. Dylan appears to be taunting him, but Sam makes a retort back and hits Dylan with the pole, knocking the traitorous human into the pillar.

The energy coursing through the pillar is capable of simply damaging a Cybertronian. To a human, it is fatal.

Dylan's body falls to the street, and Sam jumps clear of the control pillar, waving his makeshift weapon as he shouts to his friends. "Here, here! Shoot it!"

Ratchet does not hesitate. He takes aim and fires, but it does not do much damage at all, merely knocking the pillar to one side slightly.

Bumblebee doesn't bother to use his own arm cannon. He is not going to take the time necessary to charge it up, not when his friends, his family, his home are all in danger of being destroyed forever.

He's had enough of death and dying. Of standing by helpless while those he loves are killed, of being unable to do anything when they are in danger.

So Bumblebee wastes no time. He simply launches himself at the pillar, grabbing it and, ignoring the pain of the energy now charging from the pillar through his own body, he smashes it to the ground savagely until it shatters. His task finished, he reels back. Damaged, circuits smoking, but alive.

Without the control pillar, the ones orbiting the planet are useless. One by one, they shut off, and the space bridge collapses.

Cybertron itself collapses. It implodes on itself as it is sucked back through the disintegrating vortex of the former space bridge.

In the distance, Megatron's howl of fury and Sentinel's shout of outrage are more than enough to confirm what they have just seen.

Cybertron is no more.

Bumblebee forces himself back to his feet. The residual energy charge from the pillar is still wreaking havoc through his systems, and he wavers a bit before steadying himself. Sam runs to him, and Bumblebee looks at him, grateful that his injuries do not seem to be life threatening, and proud of the way his friend fought against Dylan. The two of them, along with Ratchet and the human soldiers who are still there, look up as the last glow from the space bridge fades from the sky.

Yes, Cybertron is gone.

But Earth is still here.

And, as Bumblebee watches Optimus take down first Megatron, the Sentinel, he knows that Earth is now safe.

Sideswipe, Mirage, and the Wreckers arrive on the scene, and Bumblebee watches with relief as Carly and the rest of the human soldiers arrive, watches as Sam and Carly hug each other. He watches as Optimus stands, damaged, exhausted, missing his right arm, but alive.

_They_ are safe.

And, for now, that is enough.


	6. Grief

**A/N**_**:**__ I was initially indecisive about whether to go with the movie ending or the novel ending, but as, you can see last chapter, the movie won out. The movie ending suits an event that will be happening in the next (and last) chapter more than the novel's ending, so that's why I chose it. The movie is also kind of vague about Wheelie and Brain's fate, but in the novel they survive, so I'm sticking with that._

_You remember how I said we'd get more mourning for Ironhide?_

_This is it._

_Enjoy Chapter Six._

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Transformers, or any of the song/movie quotes used in this story. However, the idea for this story does, indeed, belong to me.**

**HERE'S YOUR TRADITIONAL, FRIENDLY NEIGHBOORHOOD REMINDER THIS IS NOT A SLASH FIC.**

**NOTE: DO NOT READ THIS FIC UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN DARK OF THE MOON****! MAJOR SPOILERS ABOUND!**

**Moon Shadows 6/7**

**Title: Grief**

**Rating: T (Just to be safe)**

**Words: 1473**

**Characters: **Bumblebee, Optimus, Ratchet, Sam, Carly, Wheelie, Brains, Sideswipe, Mirage, Ironhide

**Pairings: **Sam/Carly (again, thank goodness for briefness)

**Takes Place: **During/After Dark of the Moon

**Spoiler Warnings: **Major Spoilers for Dark of the Moon

**Other Warnings: **ANGST

**Teaser:**_ He hadn't had time to properly grieve amidst the chaos of battle. Now, the battle is over, and the reality of the loss sends him crashing down._

* * *

><p>BUMBLEBEE CAN'T REALLY BELIEVE THAT IT IS FINALLY OVER, at first. It isn't until the humans start to cheer the Autobots, until Sam and Carly hug again, until Optimus walks over to stand beside his Autobot and human friends, until he feels Ratchet place a hand on his shoulder and hears the medic tell him that he fought well and that Ironhide would be proud of him, that it finally sinks in.<p>

They have, at long last, won the war.

But as Bumblebee thinks of all the destruction and death, sees the ruined city, remembers Wheeljack, remembers Ironhide…

It doesn't feel like a victory.

Victory isn't supposed to hurt like this.

* * *

><p>They find Wheelie and Brains clinging to wreckage from the Decepticon Battleship, floating in the river. And when they are pulled to shore, when they've told their story, the sudden malfunction of the Decepticon Battleship that saved the lives of Ratchet, Bumblebee, Mirage, and Sideswipe suddenly makes sense.<p>

Optimus commends them for their actions. Bumblebee extends his hand in gratitude. Sam muses that the two of them are not annoying like he thought. Not in the slightest.

Both are injured, Ratchet says it's a miracle that they survived the ship crashing, but they will live.

Wheelie and Brains are glad that they managed to save their friends, but are disappointed that they were not quick enough to save Wheeljack.

"Wheeljack was a good guy," Wheelie says, and Brains nods in agreement. "I wish we'd gotten control of the ship sooner."

* * *

><p>Ratchet has lined them all up for repairs. He tries to get Optimus to go first, but the Prime refuses to be taken care of until all of the other Autobots are treated. It's an argument Ratchet has lost before and knows he can't win, so he simply shrugs and turns towards Bumblebee, who, due to being zapped with the pillar's energy, is the next one in line to need treatment the most.<p>

Bumblebee doesn't object. His entire body is aching, and his circuits feel like they are on fire as the residual charge courses through them. He holds still as Ratchet reattaches some wires, seals his coolant lines, and filters the residual charge out of his systems as best as he can.

"I can't get the charge out of your systems completely, Bumblebee, it's too powerful for my medical tools to handle it all," Ratchet tells him as he finishes sealing yet another severed coolant line. "We'll just have to wait for the rest to filter out on its own. Other than that, you're free to go. The best thing for you now is to find somewhere to rest while your systems filter the charge out."

Bumblebee steps away as Ratchet motions Sideswipe forward. He doesn't see Sam anywhere, and assumes that he is with the human medics. For a minute, he is tempted to go looking for him.

He is aware of Optimus and Ratchet watching him. He knows that they are worried about him. Ever since Ironhide's death, they have been keeping a closer optic on him than normal, knowing that he was having trouble dealing with it. That he is still having trouble coming to terms with it. He understands their concern. Appreciates it, even.

But he doesn't want it right now.

He quickly shifts into vehicle mode and, ignoring Ratchet's shout of admonishment and Prime's attempt to call him back and knowing full well that he will be admonished later for doing so, he drives into the city, desperate to find someplace quiet.

He just wants to be alone.

* * *

><p>Autobots cannot cry the way humans can. They are incapable of producing tears (though they can simulate them by other means). The noises of crying, however, are something they can produce. They are mechanical in nature, but their meaning is the same.<p>

So, on the ruins of a drawbridge as far from the other Autobots as he dares to go, Bumblebee cries. He cries as he remembers Wheeljack's violent death. But it is Ironhide's death that sends him sinking to the ground, frame shaking as the mechanical sobs wrack his body.

From the moment Ironhide had pulled him out of the rubble of the destroyed Youth Sectors when he had been little more than a Hatchling, the weapons specialist had been a constant presence in his life. Ironhide had been the one to take charge of and raise him; he had been there in every defining moment of Bumblebee's life. Ironhide had been there when he learned how to transform for the first time, Ironhide had been there when he started his Autobot training with Optimus, Ironhide had been there after Tyger Pax, Ironhide had been there during Mission City, Ironhide had been there after Starscream had attacked him; Ironhide had been there in Egypt. He'd seemed so indestructible.

But now, Ironhide would never be there again, and Bumblebee just can't deal with that knowledge.

Not now. Maybe he'll never be able to deal with it. Ironhide's death has left a void in his spark that can never be filled. It is empty and it _hurts._

_Ratchet said you would be proud of me,_ Bumblebee thought dejectedly. _But if you are, I'll never know._

A soft touch on his knee causes him to turn his attention downward.

Sam is there. Bumblebee idly wonders how the human managed to find him, and then decides that it isn't important. Pulling himself together as best as he can, he takes in his friend's appearance, noting the bandages that cover the cuts and scrapes he received during the battle.

"_Are…you…okay?"_ He manages to string together from various radio clips.

"I'm fine, Bee," Sam assures him. "Are you?"

Bumblebee remains silent for a long moment, looking out across the river. Then, he draws in air and vents it out slowly before answering in his own broken voice. "No."

"Bumblebee."

Bumblebee turns, and to his dismay, he sees Optimus, arm reattached, standing there. He has a half a processor to drive off again, but before he can stand and transform, Optimus holds out a hand.

"Don't, Bumblebee. I need to talk to you." Turning to Sam, the Prime makes a simple request. "I am sorry, Sam, but I need to speak to Bumblebee alone. Go back to the temporary base. When I have finished, I will send him to you."

Sam looks uncertainly at Bumblebee, then reluctantly turns and walks away. Bumblebee follows his friend's progress with his optics until he is out of sight, and the Prime and youngest Autobot are left together on the drawbridge.

Optimus closes the distance between them and lays a hand on one of the young Autobot's drooping shoulders.

"Bumblebee, you do not have to grieve for Ironhide alone."

Bumblebee looks up at Optimus, and the grief he can see in the Prime's optics, reflecting his own, is too much to bear. He ducks his head again with a choked-off sob, and Optimus gives his shoulder a comforting squeeze.

"W-will it…a-always h-hurt t-this m-much?" Bumblebee asks in his stuttering voice, clutching a hand over his spark.

Optimus vents a sigh. "The pain will lessen over time, Bumblebee. It will always be there, yes, but you do not have to bear it alone. We are here for you. Talk to us."

Bumblebee meets Optimus's gaze. "I m-miss h-him."

Optimus squeezing his shoulder again and there is sad understanding in his voice as he replies. "I know, Bumblebee. I know."

The Prime gives the young Autobot's shoulder one more squeeze, then lets go and turns to walk away. He goes a few steps, stops, and turns around. "Bumblebee?"

"_Yes, sir?"_ Bumblebee responds via radio clip.

"Ironhide would not want you to grieve for him forever. He would want you to be happy."

With that last statement, the Prime turns and walks away, back towards the temporary base that has been set up on the pier.

Bumblebee looks out over the river. He will always miss Ironhide. He knows this. He will never truly get over his death.

But…

He does not have to grieve alone. He has friends to talk to, to share memories with. He has Optimus, Ratchet, Sideswipe, Mirage, Wheelie, Brains, and the Wreckers. He has Sam.

Optimus is right. Ironhide wouldn't want him to be moping around all the time.

Bumblebee vents a sigh, looking out over the river once more before turning and heading back to the base where Sam and the others are waiting for him.

And as he walks…

Maybe he is imagining the feel of a familiar hand clapping him on the shoulder with gruff affection.

Maybe it's just his imagination that he hears a familiar, gruff voice telling him, _"Ratchet was right. I'm proud of you, kid."_

But when he arrives in the temporary base, Bumblebee feels at peace.


	7. Home

**A/N**_**:**__ I'm sure I'm not the only one who was wondering about the fate of the Hatchlings in Africa, now that all of the Earthbound Decepticons are dead. What will happen to them? It's time to find out._

_Oh, and Buster is the name of Sam's dog. He is (as far as I'm aware) unnamed in the movie but the novel identifies him as Buster._

_This chapter contains less angst. Bumblebee is recovering; he is still troubled now and again but he is slowly healing emotionally. _

_When I first started this, I was just doing it to flesh out DOTM a little bit. I honestly didn't expect it to take off so well. To all of you who've read, favorite, alerted, commented on, and enjoyed this story, thank you. This chapter is for you._

_And now, with Chapter Seven, we will draw Moon Shadows to a close._

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Transformers, or any of the song/movie quotes used in this story. However, the idea for this story does, indeed, belong to me.**

**HERE'S YOUR TRADITIONAL, FRIENDLY NEIGHBOORHOOD REMINDER THIS IS NOT A SLASH FIC.**

**NOTE: DO NOT READ THIS FIC UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN DARK OF THE MOON****! MAJOR SPOILERS ABOUND!**

**Moon Shadows 7/7**

**Title: Home**

**Rating: T (Just to be safe)**

**Words: 1774**

**Characters: **Bumblebee, Optimus, Sam, Ratchet, Sideswipe, various unnamed Hatchlings

**Pairings: **None

**Takes Place: **After Dark of the Moon

**Spoiler Warnings: **Major Spoilers for Dark of the Moon

**Other Warnings: **none

**Teaser:**_ He'd known of the human phrase "Home is Where the Heart Is" for quite some time. And now, he finally, truly, understands it._

* * *

><p>OPTIMUS PRIME IS NOT AT ALL SURPRISED WHEN BUMBLEBEE approaches him and nervously requests permission to go home with Sam. Bumblebee can tell by the thoughtful look the Prime gives him, as if he is wondering why the request wasn't made sooner.<p>

Three weeks had passed since the battle in Chicago, and, during those three weeks, Autobots and humans alike had been involved in rescue, clean-up, and reconstruction. Those three weeks were the longest, most grueling and tiring three weeks on Earth that anyone involved had ever experienced. The city is starting to look less like a warzone, but there is still a long way to go.

It's not that Bumblebee doesn't want to help fix what was destroyed anymore. He wants to help. He really does. He doesn't want Optimus to think that he just wants to quit helping, that he just wants to get away. But with Carly going home to visit her parents, Sam is going back to DC, and after everything that's happened recently, Bumblebee doesn't want to be separated from his human friend. He has more or less come to terms with Ironhide's death, but there are still times, particularly after a long day of working in the city and seeing the aftermath of the battle, when it bothers him so much he wants to break down again. He's heeded Optimus's advice, and turns to the others whenever it happens. It helps.

Being around Sam helps, too.

When Optimus nods in understanding and tells him, "You have my permission to stay with Sam for as long as you want to, Bumblebee," it feels as if a huge weight is lifted off of his shoulders.

And when it's formally announced by Prime to the others that he is going on indefinite leave from NEST duty, it sinks in.

He's finally going home.

* * *

><p>Bumblebee knows the real reason Sam chose his and Carly's particular apartment in DC. It's not because it's a nice apartment. It's not because the price was affordable with the rent being split in half.<p>

Sam chose it because it was the only apartment he could find that had a freight elevator. He chose it because it was the only apartment that had enough room inside for a sixteen-foot-tall alien robot to hang out in the main room.

It was the only apartment that Bumblebee could live in. Sam chose it for _him_.

Knowing this, Bumblebee briefly feels guilty for not visiting Sam very much before this whole recent mess started. But, as Sam told him on the way back to DC, that doesn't matter anymore. All is forgiven.

"You're coming home now, and that's all that matters," Sam tells him.

And as he drives the now-familiar streets that lead to the apartment, Bumblebee promises himself that, if for some reason he is ever called back to NEST for active duty, he will never go so long without visiting ever again.

* * *

><p>It isn't until he is inside the apartment, when he leans against the wall in robot mode, when he watches as Sam scrambles around to clean up the mess that was left in the apartment when they left it weeks ago, when he helps as best he can by picking up the pieces of the chandelier that he broke (he is still embarrassed about that), when he lets out a raspy chuckle as Sam yells at Buster to stop barking, mumbling under his breath about how Mojo never was that noisy, when Sam, satisfied at the room's appearance, turns the TV on, plops down and leans against his leg, that Bumblebee finally realizes that he is home, and that he is staying.<p>

It's a good feeling.

The news broadcast on TV is showing scenes from Chicago. Smoke, fire, buildings toppling. More importantly, it also shows the Autobots and their human companions hard at work-rescuing, rebuilding, healing. But the images of the destroyed city are haunting, and Sam can only watch so much before he turns it off.

Bumblebee is secretly glad he does so.

"It's never going to be the same again, is it, Bee?" Sam asks him.

Bumblebee tilts his head to one side as he considers Sam's question.

"_No,"_ he responds. _"But…we…are…going to…make…the world a better place…than…it…was before."_

Sam smiles faintly. "A world of humans and Autobots?"

"_Yes,"_ Bumblebee nods. _"Humans…and…Autobots…together."_

"Sounds nice," Sam muses. He looks up at Bumblebee. "Once everything is over, once everything's settled down, though, what then? I mean…obviously the Government's given you guys permission to stay on Earth again…but where will you go? Where will you stay?"

"_With…you."_

"Well, I know you will. But what about Optimus and the others? I know they're staying in Chicago for now, but there's no place here for them to stay anymore. Do you think maybe we can convince Director Mearing to put in a word for getting them their own city?"

Bumblebee wheezes a laugh at that. _"An…Autobot…City?"_

Sam grins. "Yeah. 'Autobot City'. Has a nice ring to it, huh? We should tell Optimus next time we see him."

Bumblebee nods in agreement. The whole idea of an Autobot City is amusing, yes. But it is a good idea, and he knows that Optimus will be interested in hearing more about it.

He spends the rest of the day and evening just hanging out with Sam. Sam does most of the talking, but Bumblebee doesn't mind, content to just listen to his friend.

Maybe it's the lighthearted conversations they had that day. Maybe it's the time they spent together. Maybe it's the knowledge that he is home and with Sam and he isn't leaving.

But that night, for the first time since Ironhide died, when Bumblebee goes into recharge, he isn't plagued with nightmares.

* * *

><p>When Optimus Prime rumbles up to them in his truck mode a few days later, Bumblebee's first thought is that something has gone wrong. That some Decepticons weren't accounted for and have attacked, that someone got hurt during reconstruction, that the government has changed its mind again and they've been exiled once more.<p>

"Bumblebee," Optimus says gravely as he pulls to a stop. He does not transform, but remains in vehicle mode, so Bumblebee does the same. "I know I gave you indefinite leave and I am sorry to have to put a temporary end to it, but something has happened, and your assistance is required."

"What?" Sam asks, concerned. "What's happened? Is someone hurt?"

Bumblebee chimes in with a concerned chirp.

"No, no one is hurt. At least, none of the Autobots that are accounted for."

"Accounted for?" Sam questions.

_Sir, what do you mean?_ Bumblebee asks in concern via his comlink.

"A couple of days ago, we picked up a Cybertronian Distress Signal. It is coming from Namibia, Africa. It is not a signal I or any of the others recognize, but it is very weak."

_Decepticon survivors?_ Bumblebee questions. He hopes not, but he knows that it is a possibility.

"I am not certain," Optimus looks at Bumblebee. "I am going there to investigate. Ratchet and Sideswipe are going, and I want you to come as well. The others are still at work in Chicago."

Bumblebee doesn't have to consider. Even though he was hoping he would not be called away for quite some time, he knows Optimus wouldn't ask him to come along unless it was absolutely necessary. _I'll come, sir._

"Thank you, Bumblebee. We already have transport waiting for us."

Optimus begins to head out. Bumblebee starts to follow, but hesitates.

"Sam?" He questions.

Sam pats his hood understandingly. "It's okay, Bee. Just come back to the apartment in one piece, okay?"

Bumblebee gently nudges Sam's legs with his bumper to show his gratitude at Sam's acceptance, then pulls back and drives after Optimus.

* * *

><p>Bumblebee can't believe this. It seems impossible. It isn't until Ratchet finishes distributing their finds amongst those present and he finds himself holding the smallest Hatchling of the batch that he realizes the importance of this find.<p>

The Hatchlings have obviously been abandoned for some time. They are all malnourished, and for many of them the Autobot help has come too late.

"Megatron and the others obviously had no idea how to properly care for them," Ratchet says in disgust as he examines first the lifeless body of one Hatchling and then turns his attention to the two squirming ones he is holding. "It's a miracle any of them are still alive. They need proper energon feeding, and fast."

"What are we going to do with them, Prime?" Sideswipe asks. He looks at the Hatchling he is holding. "They're Decepticon Hatchlings."

"No," Optimus replies. "Their creators may have been Decepticons. But these Hatchlings have done nothing wrong. They are innocent."

Bumblebee looks at the tiny Hatchling in his arms. It blinks up at him, bright red optics glancing over his face curiously. _Primus, was I ever this tiny?_ Bumblebee wonders.

"We will care for them," Optimus says with conviction.

Sideswipe looks uneasy at this and shifts his grip on the Hatchling he is holding, but he does not argue with Optimus.

Ratchet nods and starts to administer energon to the surviving Hatchlings.

Bumblebee simply watches the Hatchling he is holding. Amusement fills him when the Hatchling begins to click eagerly as Ratchet gives it a tube of energon.

"This one is going to be just fine," Ratchet says in relief. "And so will the others. We got here just in time for them."

Bumblebee looks around at the Hatchlings he and the other Autobots are holding, and Sam's words from a few nights previous come back to him.

It's not going to be the same. He sees that more than ever now, with their find.

But it's not a bad thing.

They've found a new beginning here.

* * *

><p>Bumblebee has long been familiar with the human saying "Home is Where the Heart Is." He didn't really understand it when he first heard it, back when he first arrived on Earth. However, once he discovered that the "heart" was a human's "spark", he thought he could see where it was coming from. But it wasn't until he met Sam that he truly came to understand it.<p>

And now, as he watches the Autobots and humans working side by side to rebuild what was lost, as he sees the Hatchlings play with human and Autobot alike with no preference between the two, and when he and Sam go for a drive just to feel the wind rushing by, he realizes he understands it now, more than he ever has before.

His spark is on Earth.

This is _home_.

**~The End**


End file.
